“f*ck,” Jake jiggles the handle, hoping the door will suddenly unlock itself. “f*ck,” he curses again; he had been running late to class this morning and like an idiot, he had forgotten his keys on the kitchen table. He pulls out his phone.
Jake: Did you already head home for the weekend?
Sunghoon: Yeah, like hours ago. It’s a long f*cking drive, dude.
Jake: Did you see my keys on the table before you left???
Sunghoon: …I saw someone’s keys…
Jake: Who else would have keys on our kitchen table?
Sunghoon: Idk
Sunghoon: Wait, are you locked out?
Jake: Yes, Sunghoon. Because as you saw, MY KEYS WERE ON THE TABLE!
Sunghoon: You sound mad
Jake: No sh*t
Sunghoon: I’m sorry?
Jake: Ugh. I’m mad at myself
Sunghoon: :/
Jake trudges over to the hallway and drops his backpack. He had two classes today and then he worked a shift the café all afternoon. All he wanted to do was come home and turn on some sh*tty reality TV so he could relax with some ramen and ice cream. Now, he’s going to have to call a locksmith or something. It’s probably going to take forever for someone to get here. His phone chimes and Jake thinks it’s another text from Sunghoon.
Heeseung: Sorry work was sh*t for you. Hope you can rest now!
Jake clunks his head against the wall. He knows if he calls Heeseung, he will come over and help. The problem is that he and Heeseung are no longer dating. They haven’t been dating since Jake’s freshman year—the year Heeseung dropped out. And since they haven’t been dating for three years, Jake should really stop relying on Heeseung whenever he needs someone to help him.
Jake hears the sound of music come on from his neighbor across the hall, and he groans. Sure enough, his neighbor cranks the volume up so loud that the hallway literally starts vibrating. f*ck it, Jake thinks.
Jake: I’m locked out :(((
Heeseung: Omw
Jake shuts his eyes and slides down the wall so he can sit and wait for his sketchy ex to come and save him…again.
Heeseung gets to Jake about twenty minutes after Jake’s text. He’s wearing a grey beanie, skinny jeans, and red checked flannel. Still, he has the sleeves rolled up so Jake can see his tattoos, or at least parts of them.
On his left arm, he has a rose that starts on the front of his hand and spreads out onto his forearm. He can’t see the entire thing, but he knows the tattoo transforms into an assortment of feathers, arrows, and shapes until it gets to his bicep where there is a dragon/bird looking tattoo. The creature’s wings travel up his shoulder and stop right around the edge of his left collar bone.
On his right arm, he has a script tattoo on the front of his hand that reads, <i>try it again</i>. He also has an assortment of shapes dancing across his fingers—a moon, a star, a sun. His forearm tattoo doesn’t extend all the way up on this arm, but it is a very detailed animal print design that ends right around his elbow. Jake was with him when he was getting the right forearm tattoo done—it took multiple six-hour sessions and sufficiently deterred Jake from ever wanting one. Jake can’t even handle getting shots at the doctor’s office so the idea of sitting still while someone poked with him a needle for hours is completely unappealing.
Still the tattoos look hot on Heeseung.
Heeseung also has several piercings—the newest being his septum piercing. He got that one last summer. He also has an eyebrow piercing, a Monroe piercing, a tongue piercing, and several ear piercings. While Jake gave up on the idea of tattoos pretty quick, he had actually tried to get his ears pierced when Heeseung got his tongue pierced. But then Jake promptly passed out as soon as the needle got close to him, and safe to say, all piercings and tattoos were ruled out for Jake after that.
But much like his tattoos, Jake finds Heeseung’s piercings ridiculously attractive.
Heeseung looks down at Jake, frowning. “Do you not know how to pick your lock?” He asks.
Jake shakes his head, groaning, as he stands up. “You act like that’s a skill everyone knows.” His legs wobble, a bit stiff from sitting so long. Heeseung puts his hands out to catch him but Jake finds his balance. He kind of wishes he hadn’t though.
Heeseung looks at the door again and then back at Jake. “It’s pretty easy to do with a credit card.” Jake is about to ask what he means, but Heeseung walks over to the door before Jake can respond. Heeseung pulls out his wallet and takes one of the cards from it, sliding the card in between the door and its frame. Within thirty seconds, Jake hears the lock click.
It should be frightening to see how easily Heeseung could break in if he wanted to. It should be. But honestly, Jake finds it more hot than anything else.
Heeseung turns back to Jake and smirks. “See? Really easy.” Heeseung gestures to the inside of Jake’s apartment. Jake blinks at him and then shakes his head. He grabs his backpack and walks through the open door, murmuring a “thank you, Hee,” as he passes the taller man. Jake expects Heeseung to follow him inside but when he turns around, he sees Heeseung is still standing outside the door, hands in his pockets.
“You coming in?” Jake asks, confused.
Heeseung chews on his lip and then shakes his head. “You were looking forward to resting tonight.” Heeseung says, looking at Jake with his sweet doe eyes. “I’ll just head home.”
Jake shakes his head quickly. Now that Heeseung is here, he doesn’t want him to leave. Especially not after he just proved how easy it is to get into his apartment. “Can you wait until tomorrow? I want to buy a deadbolt before you leave.” Jake says, pointing at the lock on the door.
Heeseung laughs, but then he nods, stepping inside the apartment. “Go shower.” Heeseung says to him. “I’ll make you some dinner.”
Jake pouts. “I don’t think we have anything in the fridge…besides…” Jake trails off.
“You’ve had ramen four times this week, Jake.” Heeseung shakes his head. “I’m not going to…” He stops talking as Jake approaches him. Jake blinks up at him softly, lip still jutted out. Heeseung sighs. “Can I at least put an egg in it for protein?”
Jake smiles widely, nodding quickly. Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Fine. Go shower.” He shoos Jake. “But tomorrow, you’re buying actual groceries in addition to a deadbolt.” He wags a finger at Jake. “I’m not leaving until there is at least one vegetable in this fridge.”
Jake giggles, raising his hands in surrender as he walks back toward his room. “I mean it!” Heeseung calls from behind him. Jake just laughs harder and Heeseung murmurs something that Jake can’t make out.
Heeseung does end up putting eggs in their ramen, but Jake doesn’t mind. He’s content as he slurps, legs tucked underneath himself on the couch. They have some reality baking show on in the background, but neither of them are really watching it. Heeseung has been talking about the industrial plant he’s been working at this past week as a part of his apprenticeship.
About a year and a half ago, Heeseung had decided to enroll in electrical program at a community college—now, he’s finished the requisite year of classes, but he still has about three years left in his general electrician apprenticeship before he can get his certification.
It’s a lot of work, but Heeseung seems to genuinely enjoy it. He also really likes his boss. Unlike many others, his boss didn’t turn Heeseung away after the results of his background check came back. While Heeseung had been able to seal most of his criminal history from when he was in high school because he was a minor, he hadn’t been able to seal the charges he got the year he dropped out. And two separate incidents involving assault didn’t play well for a lot of prospective employers, especially since only one of the sets got dropped—he had to take a plea deal for the other set of charges
Still, despite his questionable record, Heeseung managed to find his apprenticeship and some freelance landscaping work that he did most weekends.
“Henry said the client likes me.” Heeseung shrugs, taking a sip from the bottle of beer he grabbed out of their fridge. Neither Hoon or Jake really like beer, but Jake makes sure to always keep a six pack just in case Heeseung comes over.
“Of course he does.” Jake smiles at him, setting his empty bowl on the coffee table. “You’re good at what you do.” Heeseung shrugs again, but Jake sees the way his ears turn red. He pats Jake’s thigh, and then takes another sip of beer.
Jake flops himself back against the couch, squirming as he tries to find a comfortable position. Heeseung rolls his eyes and says, “just do it.”
Jake laughs and then moves so he is laying down, feet pointed towards the end of the couch, with his head in Heeseung’s lap. After a couple of seconds, he feels Heeseung’s free hand playing with his hair. Jake shuts his eyes, reveling in the sensation.
“Such a puppy.” Heeseung comments, laugh evident in his voice. Jake whacks the thigh by where his head is resting and Heeseung makes a pained squeak. Jake doesn’t refute it though. He’s too comfortable. The sound of the tv starts to fade away and before he knows it, Jake is falling asleep.
He’s not sure how much time has passed, but Jake wakes up in his bed a little while later. He’s not surprised Heeseung carried him to bed—Jake always complains about kinks in his neck when he falls asleep on the couch. But he is surprised that Heeseung isn’t laying next to him. Jake shivers. He really hopes Heeseung didn’t go home. He wasn’t exactly kidding about wanting a deadbolt.
Jake climbs out of his bed and walks to his bedroom door, opening it slightly. The living room lights are off but there is a little light streaming in from the kitchen. Jake peeks over at the couch and frowns. Heeseung’s lanky frame barely fits on their small ass couch.
Jake walks over to him and shakes him gently. Heeseung stirs, sitting up quick. “What happened?” He blinks, darting his head toward the door and back at Jake. “You okay?”
Jake shushes him, petting the top of his head. “Why are you sleeping out here?”
Heeseung stares at Jake for a few seconds, still adjusting to being awake. “I didn’t want to sleep in your bed without your permission.”
Jake frowns. “You’ve been sleeping in my bed for years.” He points out. “Before and after we broke up.”
Heeseung winces. “I, uh, didn’t know where things stood with that guy.” Heeseung says. “And even though it’s not a big deal for us, I’m not sure many guys are okay with their situationship sleeping in the same bed as their ex.”
Jake nods, not realizing he hadn’t filled Heeseung in on the end of his situationship. “Oh, that.” He crosses his arms, feeling a bit cold all of a sudden. “I guess I didn’t tell you about that.” Jake sighs. He isn’t sure he actually wants to fill Heeseung in. Partly…because well, he can predict how Heeseung will react.
“It’s over with him.”
Heeseung stares at him for a long minute. “Why?” He asks, voice neutral. Jake rolls his eyes. “Can I tell you about it when we are under my blankets?” Jake points back to his bedroom. “I’m cold.” Jake shivers, emphasizing his point, and Heeseung sighs, getting up from the couch.
Heeseung is still wearing his jeans and Jake makes a face as he is about to climb on Jake’s bed. “Can you take off your jeans?” He points at the pants. “I don’t want my sheets to get dirty.”
Heeseung rolls his eyes. “So demanding tonight, aren’t you?” He jokes, but he sheds his jeans quickly. They both climb into the bed, turning to face each other. “Okay, so what happened with the guy?”
“Nothing, really.” Jake says, evasively. “Just wasn’t right.”
“You’re not telling me something.” Heeseung points out.
“It’s not a big deal, Heeseung.” Jake shakes his head.
“Still?” Heeseung asks. “Really, Jake?”
Jake winces. He knows what Heeseung is asking as much as Heeseung knows what Jake isn’t telling him. As much as Jake wants to trust that Heeseung won’t do something stupid, he is still scared. It’s why Jake agreed they should break up three years ago. Heeseung is a gentle giant around Jake and Jake has never feared for his own safety, but Heeseung is…or was…a bit of a loose cannon when it comes to defending Jake. Both of the fights he got in Jake’s freshman year were Jake’s fault. Well, not his fault exactly. Both were the result of Heeseung trying to protect him.
It's why the first set of charges got thrown out. Yes, Heeseung definitely had went past what was necessary to defend Jake from a guy that was trying to get into Jake’s pants, but still, the prosecutor knew a bad case when he saw one, so he dropped the charges. But the fight a few months later…that had been way beyond what was necessary. The guy wasn’t being violent or predatory, he had just been hom*ophobic when he noticed Jake holding Heeseung’s hand. But Heeseung lost it on him—broke the guy’s jaw even. He was honestly very lucky he only had to serve community service after pleading guilty.
“It’s not that.” Jake lies. “It just fizzled out.”
Heeseung’s eyes narrow. “That’s not what you were saying a couple weeks ago.” Heeseung says, quietly. “You seemed to like him.”
“I did.” Jake admits. Not as much as I liked you, he wants to say. But it isn’t fair. Jake had loved Heeseung. He still does. It’s not fair to compare every new guy to Heeseung.
“So?” Heeseung presses. When Jake doesn’t say anything, Heeseung lets out a deep breath. “Please, Jake. Let me prove you can trust me to not…” Heeseung doesn’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t need to. They both know the issue.
Jake will probably regret this, but he caves. “He, uh…” Jake starts. “Well, I ran into him at a bar with his friends.” Jake cringes at the memory. “He isn’t out yet.” Jake pauses. “Which is fine, but…”
Jake remembers the panic on Aaron’s face when he saw Jake and Sunoo walk in. At first, Jake had assumed it was because he thought Jake would try to approach him, so Jake steered Sunoo away from Aaron and his friends, hoping to reassure the man.
But very quickly, Jake realized the panic was because of Sunoo himself. Or rather what Sunoo had been wearing. Sunoo’s gender expression is very fluid—sometimes he leans into more classically feminine pieces and other times more masculine. But on that day, he had been wearing a pink skirt and a fluffy white sweater with a heart. Ironically, it had actually been Jake’s sweater—Sunoo stole it that morning, claiming it matched his vibe for the day.
And once he and Sunoo had sat down, he noticed a couple of the guys that Aaron was sitting with were pointing and snickering at Sunoo. At first Jake tried to ignore it. So did Sunoo. But the snickering got louder and they started making some unsavory comments. Eventually, Jake flipped them off. And of course, it had the opposite of the intended effect. The guys started laughing at them harder. One of them made another offensive comment, clearly loud enough for them to hear, and then another suggested they go over…
“He called Sunoo and I a slur,” Jake admits. “Apparently the idea of another man in a skirt was a threat to his masculinity, but his tongue in my ass was not.”
Heeseung’s mouth opens and then closes. And then to Jake’s surprise, he laughs. Loudly.
Jake stares at him a couple of seconds and then gives into his own laughter.
It had been pretty ridiculous. Aaron throwing out the ‘F’ slur out like he hadn’t just spent the previous night eating Jake out. Jake just gaped at him like he was from another planet. The guys he was with, however, thought it was hilarious. They probably would have kept going except Sunoo had gotten up and reported the men to the waitress as soon as the words had left Aaron’s mouth. She kicked him them out shortly after.
What had really sealed the absurdity for Jake though was the fact that Aaron was waiting outside of Jake’s apartment when he got home. Of course, Jake had already texted Hoon not to let him in if he tried to stop by, but Jake hadn’t actually expected him to try. Aaron had attempted to make excuses, but Jake made it clear they would not be seeing each other anymore. Not being out is fine; Saying that you wished someone would get hate crimed for wearing a skirt is another story.
Jake still finds the ending amusing. Obviously, Heeseung agrees because it takes a few minutes for both them to stop laughing. Though for Jake, he mostly can’t stop because the sound of Heeseung’s laugh is so contagious. Jake could listen to Heeseung laugh for hours. “He sounds like an idiot.” Heeseung says after a while, still smiling.
Jake nods. “Glad I didn’t waste too much time on him.”
Heeseung reaches out his hand, tucking a strand of Jake’s hair behind his ear. “Thank you for telling me.” He whispers.
Jake grabs Heeseung’s hand before he can retract it and Jake squeezes it with his own. “Thank you for not hulking out.” He giggles and he hopes Heeseung can still feel the sincerity of Jake’s gratitude. Heeseung nods, bringing their joined hands down to the space in between them on the bed. “And thank you for staying here tonight.” Jake says, warmly.
Heeseung’s lips quiver. “Had to.” He says, his eyes starting to droop. “Someone has to make sure you buy a vegetable tomorrow.”
Jake groans, trying to turn away from Heeseung. Heeseung grabs his waist with his free hand, preventing Jake from completing the turn. Jake gives up, burying his head in his pillow instead. After a couple of seconds, Jake shimmies forward. They’re still facing each other, but there is less space between them now. And their hands are still interlocked together.
“Good night, Jake.” Heeseung, says softly.
Jake hums. “Night, Hee.”
“I can just call a locksmith.” Jake says as Heeseung starts unpackaging the deadbolt.
“Why?” Heeseung asks, pulling out the instructions. “I can help before I leave.”
Jake frowns. Because I already rely on you for everything, Jake wants to say. But he doesn’t. Instead, he just shrugs and says, “okay.”
Heeseung starts sorting the various pieces on the table and then turns to Jake. “Where’s the drill I got you?”
Jake points to the cabinet under the sink. “The only person that uses it is you. So, it’s exactly where you left it.”
Heeseung snorts, but he doesn’t say anything. He just goes to the cabinet and pulls out the drill. It’s hot pink because the girl drills were on sale when they bought it. Needlessly gendered products were stupid, but Jake wasn’t about to turn down a bargain.
Jake watches as Heeseung starts working. Watches as his brows furrow with concentration. Watches as his tattooed forearms flex when he turns on the drill. Watches as he puts a screw between his mouth as a way to hold it while he drills into the door frame.
Jake feels sweat accumulating underneath the collar of his shirt and he gets up suddenly. “I’m going to go change.” He says, not really waiting for a response. Heeseung makes a hum of acknowledgement, still focusing on the drill. Jake basically sprints to his bedroom and closes the door.
Power Bottoms + Token Pillow Princess
Jake: Help
Jungwon: You, okay?
Sunoo: You got horny from hanging out with Heeseung again, didn’t you?
Jake: How could you possibly know that?
Sunoo: Hoon said you got locked out
Sunoo: And I’m assuming you didn’t call a locksmith
Jake: f*ck you
Jungwon: Not this again
Jungwon: Jake, I love you, but…
Sunoo: This is the fifth time this month
Jake: Surely, it hasn’t been that many times
Jungwon: It has. You’ve literally texted us five different times this month because Heeseung gave you a boner
Jake: This one is more of a semi?
Jungwon: That’s TMI dude
Sunoo: Last week you said you got bothered by the way he ate a sandwich. A sandwich, Jake.
Jake: It was suggestive!!!
Jake: I swear he did that on purpose.
Sunoo: What is it this time?
Jake: He’s…he’s holding a drill.
Jake: A hot pink drill.
Jake: And his hair is all fluffy because he let me use my hair products on him this morning.
Sunoo: I truly do not understand the two of you whatsoever.
Jake: What do you mean?
Sunoo: Just date.
Jungwon: Agreed ^
Jake: No.
Sunoo: Why on earth not? You basically are dating. Except you guys don’t f*ck.
Jake: We broke up.
Sunoo: Three years ago. And yet you still text him every day.
Jake: He’s my best friend.
Sunoo: I’m telling Sunghoon you said that.
Jake: PLEASE don’t.
Jungwon: We (and I truly mean all of us) just think the two of you are being stupid (we say with affection)
Jake: You’ve talked to Heeseung’s friends about this???
Sunoo: Heeseung’s best friend is my boyfriend…well one of them
Jungwon: You having two boyfriends and me having zero will always be my villain origin story
Jungwon: But seriously, you can’t say Jay and Ni-ki are just Heeseung’s friends when the seven of us literally have been hanging out together for nearly four years.
Jake: Ugh
Jake: It’s more complicated than you guys realize
Sunoo: It’s really not. I know Heeseung’s side from Jay. And he knows your side from me and Hoon. We have the whole story and it’s really not complicated
Jake: Is nothing sacred????
Sunoo: I was very worried about you when it all happened. I get to talk to my boyfriends about that
Jungwon: Besides, we needed to know if we needed to kill Heeseung
Sunoo: Also, that ^
Jake: Last night I told him about what Aaron said…
Sunoo: And???
Jake: He seemed to handle it well…
Jungwon: That’s good right?
Sunoo: I think the two of you need to talk about everything again now that you are in different places in your lives.
Jake: It won’t make a difference. Even if my reason for breaking up is no longer a concern, he was the one who suggested breaking up.
Sunoo: Three years ago.
Jake: Ugh. I’m over this conversation.
Jungwon: How about we get lunch tomorrow and you can tell us all about drill boy?
Jake: 🖕
Jake does end up getting lunch with them the next day. Though that was a few hours ago. Now, he’s curled up on the couch, scrolling on his phone. Heeseung is over again tonight because the apartment is empty and Jake didn’t really want to be alone—Sunghoon went straight to Jay’s house as soon as he got home from his trip.
The two of them had ordered takeout from the Italian place that Heeseung likes and now they are both just lounging on the couch.
“Do you ever talk to Jay about our breakup?” Jake asks, going for nonchalant.
Heeseung’s surprised expression indicates he failed in his attempt. Heeseung tries to blink back the surprise. “Did he say something to you?”
Jake shakes his head quickly. “No.” He looks back at his phone. “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Heeseung says, his voice closer. Jake looks up and sees Heeseung has moved next to him. He’s got one leg dangling off the couch and the other crossed in front of him. He doesn’t look mad though. Just confused.
“I just.” He shrugs. “I was talking to Sunoo and Jungwon about it.”
Heeseung frowns. “Recently?”
“Yeah.” Jake shrugs, suddenly feeling like crawling in on himself. He’s not sure why he started this conversation. Well, he is sure—it was Sunoo’s idea. But still, Jake doesn’t want to re-hash their breakup. It had been painful enough the first time.
“What brought the discussion on?” Heeseung asks, reaching out his hand for Jake. Jake accepts the gesture, gripping Heeseung’s fingers tightly.
“You.” Jake admits.
“Me?” Heeseung asks, confused. “What did I do?”
“It’s more what you didn’t do.” Jake says, finally meeting Heeseung’s eyes.
“Ah.” Heeseung nods. “I see.”
“I know it wasn’t the entire reason we broke up.” Jake says quickly. “I mean, well, for me it was, but for you, I think you had other reasons.”
“I told you why I thought we should.” Heeseung says, letting go of Jake’s hand. He crosses his arms. “You just weren’t listening because you were too pissed at me.”
Jake bites his lip. He wants to argue. Say that Heeseung is misremembering. But he’s not. Not really. Heeseung had initiated the conversation, but Jake had run with it. Heeseung had started it by saying he didn’t know how to be Jake’s boyfriend. And Jake agreed. It had been spiteful. And a bit mean, but Jake was so furious at Heeseung for endangering himself repeatedly. For flying off the handle.
Jake had assumed Heeseung knew that Jake was just pissed. That he hadn’t meant it when he agreed. But looking at Heeseung now…he’s not so sure. He’s not so sure he understands what Heeseung had been trying to get at during their break up.
“I’m listening now.” Jake says, after a few minutes. “If it’s not too late to hear it?”
Heeseung sighs. “I was in a bad place that year.” Heeseung says, looking at Jake carefully. “I didn’t like school and I had a lot of anger left over from what happened in high school.”
Jake nods. He remembers when he first met Heeseung. It had been at a bar. Heeseung was nineteen and in his sophom*ore year. Jake was eighteen and in his first week of freshman year.
Of course, Jake had managed to get himself into a dive bar despite being underage. He scrubbed off the black x’s on the back of his hands and then went looking for a cute guy to buy him a drink. He had found Heeseung playing pool with Jay. He could tell by the way the others kept their distance that Heeseung wasn’t someone to be messed with. Dangerous even. But Jake took one look at his slightly crooked smile and his big brown eyes and decided that he was going to approach him. So he did. He innocently walked up to him and asked to get the next round of pool. He remembers how Heeseung had been tender with Jake that night even though he had been gruff with pretty much everyone else.
And that pattern continued throughout Jake’s freshman year. Heeseung would be soft and incredibly caring toward Jake, but he was constantly getting in fights with everyone else. He was skipping class. He was drinking too much. Basically, he was making Jake worry every day. And he wouldn’t let Jake in. At least not all the way. Not like they are now.
“You deserved someone who could treat you better.” Heeseung shrugged. “I recognized how much stress I was putting you through.” He stared at Jake.
“But it wasn’t because of how you treated me.” Jake shakes his head. “I was stressed because of how you were treating yourself.”
Heeseung shrugs. “Still, you deserved more experiences…experiences I couldn’t give you.”
“What does that even mean though?” Jake asks.
“Well, at the time, I didn’t think I was going to amount to much.” Heeseung says. “And I didn’t want that to be your burden.” He points at Jake. Jake can understand that. Though it’s a bit funny that Heeseung thought breaking up would stop Jake from caring. Because of course, once the anger wore off, Jake refused to disappear. He refused to let Heeseung continue to wander around aimlessly. Jake forced his way back into Heeseung’s life as a friend. He forced Heeseung to stop wallowing after dropping out.
And somewhere along the way, Heeseung finally let Jake in. He let Jake see all the doubts he had been hiding. All the pain caused by his parents. His high school friends. He let Jake see everything. And he became someone Jake could rely on. Wanted to rely on. It hadn’t happened overnight, but sitting here now, Jake recognizes the depth of what they have. What they have worked for over all these years.
“Besides, you hadn’t tried…I was the only person you had been with.” Heeseung continues, ears a bit a red now.
Jake gapes at him. He has been following the conversation up until now. Or at least he thinks he has. But there’s no way Heeseung can mean what he’s implying. “You cannot tell me that you thought my sex life was lacking with you in it.” Jake says flatly.
Heeseung snorts. “Not lacking,” he says. “Just. I don’t know. I thought it would be a shame if you didn’t get to explore other options.”
Jake stares at him like he’s grown a third head. “I can understand where you were coming from with respect to your concerns about the future. And your concern that you weren’t good at being vulnerable, but…” Jake trails off struck by horrible thought. “Oh god. Was I bad?” Jake asks. “Did you think I needed more experience because I was bad at sex?”
Jake has had many sexual experiences since he and Heeseung broke up. At first it had been an attempt to prove he was over Heeseung but then it morphed into him trying to find someone he connected with to the same way as Heeseung.
But of course, absolutely none of them have compared to Heeseung. Sex with Heeseung is still the best sex he’s ever had. Even his first time was good. Okay, well not good—it hurt like hell, actually. But the way Heeseung had taken care of him had been good. The way he cared about making it as pleasurable as possible, despite the pain. That had been good. That had been beyond good.
But had sex with Jake not been good for Heeseung? Had Heeseung not been enjoying himself? Jake can feel water pooling in his eyes at the thought, so he wipes at them, embarrassed.
Heeseung’s eyes widen comically, or at least it would have been comical if Jake wasn’t crying. Then, Heeseung starts shaking his head quickly. “No,” he says, firmly. “No. Definitely not.” He leans closer to Jake, using the edge of his t-shirt to wipe the fallen tears on Jake’s cheeks. “Jake, no. I promise.” Heeseung gulps. “I promise you were the best, okay?” He tilts Jake’s chin up, trying to make eye contact. “You were so good. So good for me.”
Jake believes him, but he also feels like someone turned an oven on in his stomach. Still, he tries to keep his voice even. “Okay,” he whispers, feeling a bit raw—he tries to tuck himself into a tighter ball.
Heeseung makes a pained sort of sound and then opens his arms. “Come here,” he says, gently. Jake nods and climbs into Heeseung’s lap. He curls his body over Heeseung’s chest and wraps his arms around Heeseung’s neck. Heeseung starts moving his hands up and down his back softly. “You’re one of a kind, angel.”
Jake smiles at the pet name. Heeseung hasn’t called him that in years. “Apart from that last point…” Jake stutters a little but he pushes forward. “I do understand where you were coming from. I wish you hadn’t felt like that, but I can’t go back and change it.”
“I wouldn’t want to.” Heeseung says, quietly. “I didn’t know how to love you back then.” Jake feels his stomach swoop at the word love. “Not like I do now.” He says quietly into Jake’s hair.
Jake breaks away a little so he can look at Heeseung. Heeseung’s gaze is vulnerable. Soft. And Jake feels like his heart is going to break his rib cage with how fast it’s beating. “I am so in love with you.” Jake says in a rush. “More so than I ever thought possible.”
Heeseung smiles, reaching out to rub Jake’s cheek. “You’re my person.” He tucks a strand of Jake’s hair behind his ear. “And loving you has saved my life, I think.”
Jake is sure there is more to say. Things to iron out. Details to go over. But the hows, the whens, the whys, and the what next don’t matter. Nothing matters to Jake right now except the burning need inside of him. He’s only human, he thinks. And so instead of saying anything further, he leans in and kisses Heeseung.
It’s meant to be quick, but Heeseung grabs the back of Jake’s head, locking them together. Jake groans as Heeseung deepens the kiss, pressing harder against Jake’s lips. Jake’s mouth falls open, giving Heeseung more access. And Heeseung takes it. He moves his tongue against Jake’s own and Jake moans when he feels the cold metal of Heeseung’s tongue ring.
Heeseung moves his free hand—the hand that is not in Jake’s hair—to Jake’s side. He slips his fingers under Jake’s shirt, pressing his fingers into Jake’s skin. Jake feels like he is on fire. He moans as Heeseung bites Jake’s bottom lip.
Jake pulls back, breathing harshly, but Heeseung doesn’t pause his exploration. He just starts kissing down jake’s neck. He licks at Jake’s collarbone, tongue ring tickling him slightly, and nips at the skin there. Jake whines.
“You taste even better than I remember.” Heeseung whispers into Jake’s skin.
Jake arches his neck, already somewhat dizzy from how turned on he is. Heeseung takes Jake’s movement as a sign to lick Jake’s Adam’s apple. He mouths at Jake’s skin, and Jake trembles. Heeseung exhales, warm breath hitting Jake’s neck. Jake digs his hands into Heeseung’s shoulders, trying to anchor himself.
Heeseung’s mouth continues its descent. Then, he’s tugging at the collar of Jake’s shirt, stretching it, so he can kiss lower. Jake cries out, unable to prevent himself from squirming in Heeseung’s lap. He has been trying to hold himself back, but his dick feels like it’s going to fall off if he doesn’t rub it against something, so he starts moving his hips against Heeseung. Heeseung lets his hand fall from Jake’s hair and brings it to Jake’s other side. He holds Jake’s waist tightly as Jake rocks back and forth, trying to get some sort of friction to his dick.
“Already so eager for me?” Heeseung smirks. Jake nods, his mouth is open and he feels his tongue is sticking out. “Could you come like this?” Heeseung wonders, sliding his hands from Jake’s waist down inside the band of his sweatpants. Jake moans as Heeseung cups his ass through the thin layer of Jake’s boxers. It feels good, but it’s not enough. Jake needs to feel Heeseung’s warm hands actually making contact with his flesh, but he can’t summon the words. Instead, he just whines, pressing himself harder against Heeseung.
Heeseung squeezes Jake’s ass so hard that it almost hurts and Jake shudders with pleasure. “I asked you something, baby.” Jake looks at him, eyes a bit hazy. Heeseung smirks. “I asked you if you could come like this…just rubbing against me…like a dog humping the first thing in sight.”
Jake nods, eagerly. “Yes,” he breathes. He leans in to kiss Heeseung again and Heeseung chuckles against his lips. Heeseung shoves his tongue back down Jake’s throat and at the same time he pinches Jake’s ass. Jake breaks the kiss, crying out.
“But there’s so much I want to do.” Heeseung murmurs. “I’ve had so many thoughts about what I would do to you when I finally got to have you again.”
Jake whimpers. “Do it.” Jake rests his head on Heeseung’s shoulder, his hips still frantically jerking against Heeseung’s lower half. “Do it all.”
“You’ll keep coming for me all night then?” Heeseung removes his hands suddenly. He presses them against Jake’s sides, stilling his movement. “If I let you come now, will you still let me have you however I wish after.” He asks, his hands preventing Jake from squirming. “Will you let me tease you?”
Jake nods, eyes teary from how pent up he is. He won’t be able to focus on anything until he comes once. Heeseung knows that too. Heeseung knows the first time Jake comes has to be quick. He can’t handle any sort of edging until he’s had at least one org*sm.
“Okay, pretty.” Heeseung whispers, releasing his hold on Jake’s sides. Jake immediately goes back to rocking his hips. Heeseung, however, doesn’t return his hands to Jake’s ass. Instead, he moves them under Jake’s shirt, sliding them up toward Jake’s chest. Jake groans when he feels Heeseung’s hands begin to rub his sensitive nipples. Gently, at first, Heeseung’s fingers trace slow circles. But then he starts pressing down roughly. Pinching Jake’s nipples with force.
“f*ck!” Jake shouts, increasing the speed of his thrusts against Heeseung. Jake’s dick isn’t even really rubbing against Heeseung’s at this point. It’s actually hitting Heeseung more in the stomach. But neither of them seems to care. They know Jake just needs to come.
“Come on, Jake.” Heeseung growls. “Come so I can take you to your room.” Heeseung pinches Jake’s nipple again and Jake whines. “Come for me, angel.”
Jake isn’t sure if it’s the pet name, the increased pressure on his nipple or the hard thrust of his dick against Heeseung, but suddenly, he’s coming. He grinds against Heeseung, working himself through his org*sm. It takes him a full minute to come down and after, he blinks up at Heeseung, a bit dopey.
“Feel better?” Heeseung whispers, sliding his arms around Jake’s back so he can pull Jake in for a kiss. Jake nods, pressing their lips together softly. His underwear is sticky with cum, but he doesn’t care. He won’t be wearing them much longer anyway.
He giggles as they separate, and Heeseung stares at him fondly. Heeseung tilts his head in the direction of Jake’s room. “Should we go to your room?”
Jake nods eagerly. He gets up off Heeseung’s lap, eyes lingering on the prominent bulge in Heeseung’s pants. Heeseung chuckles, getting up and wrapping his arms around Jake’s lower back. “You’re so sexy, Jake.” Heeseung leans down kissing Jake’s neck.
Jake groans, relishing the feel of Heeseung’s lips. They kiss for a few minutes before Jake grabs Heeseung’s hand and pulls him to his room.
When they’re inside, Jake pulls at Heeseung’s shirt. “Off.” He pouts at the clothing as if it has offended him. Heeseung laughs but removes the shirt quickly. He raises an eyebrow at Jake, pointing at his own shirt. Jake takes it off and then they are pressing back up against each other. Skin touching as Jake rubs his hands across Heeseung’s back. Heeseung kisses the junction between Jake’s neck and shoulder, but then Heeseung pulls away quickly, letting out a startled gasp.
Jake turns around. “What?” He looks for what caused the sound but doesn’t see anything strange. Heeseung, however, just smirks at him and points toward Jake’s window. Jake doesn’t get it immediately. Nothing about the window looks out of the ordinary. But, after staring for a couple seconds, he thinks he understands. He hasn’t closed his window shade yet, and it’s dark out; the window is essentially a mirror reflecting the scene of Jake’s room—specifically, it is reflecting the two of them in Jake’s room.
“I have an idea.” Heeseung says, wrapping himself around Jake’s back. Jake watches their reflection. Watches as Heeseung leans into his ear and whispers, “can I prepare you while you’re facing the window?” Heeseung raises an eyebrow. Heat pools in Jake’s stomach at the thought—the thought of watching himself react to Heeseung pleasuring him.
Jake turns around in Heeseung’s arms. He nods as he stands up on his tippy toes and whispers, “as long as you let me blow you first.” He reaches down, brushing his fingers across the bulge in Heeseung’s pants. “Please.”
Heeseung groans at the request. “Where do you want me?”
Jake’s brain wracks through the three years’ worth of fantasies where he gets to put his mouth on Heeseung again. It’s no secret that Jake likes to give head. It’s something Heeseung noticed when they first started dating and it’s something that has been mentioned by every single sexual partner he has had since.
Besides, Jake has an oral fixation problem.
So yeah, he’s fantasized a lot about sucking Heeseung off. And there is so much he wants to try. So many positions that they never explored. And while logically he knows that there is no rush, there is one fantasy that he’s desperate to make a reality.
“Do you remember last year when you built my desk?” Jake asks after a few beats.
Heeseung scratches his head. “I remember it, yes…but I’m failing to catch on to how it relates to you blowing me.”
Jake laughs, pointing at the desk against the wall. “You were standing next to it, rocking your hips slightly as you drilled the top part to the base of the desk.”
Jake remembers the scene vividly. Heeseung had been using the pink drill. And it had been hot out, so Heeseung was in a sleeveless top and baggy denim shorts—his tattoos were on full display. Jake had been watching Heeseung from the bed. After two hours of working on the desk, Heeseung had worked up a bit of a sweat, so his hair was sticking to his skin. And there was something erotic in the way he was drilling the top of the desk. Or maybe Jake just found everything Heeseung did to be slightly erotic. Still, Jake imagined himself laying on top of the desk, and instead of drilling the desk…Heeseung was drilling Jake’s mouth with his dick.
The image got so stimulating that Jake had to excuse himself to the bathroom.
It's still one of his favorite images to jack off to.
“You want to lay on your desk?” Heeseung asks, a bit breathless.
Jake nods. “Yeah.” He gulps. “I want you to use my mouth as I lay on my desk with my head back.”
Heeseung blinks at him, a bit taken back. “That is very specific.” He smiles, shyly. “I kind of figured you’d just say the bed or something.”
Jake shakes his head. “I have three years of fantasies to get through. And that’s one of my favorites.” Jake admits, hoping Heeseung can’t sense how desperate he is for this. How much he suddenly needs to make this fantasy a reality.
Heeseung blinks. “Are you sure?” He looks at the desk. “You won’t have a lot of control like that?”
“What happened to wanting to do everything to me?” Jake challenges.
Heeseung’s eyebrows lift. “I do.” He rubs Jake’s cheek with his thumb. “I’ll never have had enough of you no matter what we do.”
“I want this.” Jake says, letting his desperation bleed through. “I want you to use my mouth so bad.” He widens his eyes. “Please, Heeseung.”
Heeseung groans. “Okay.” He looks down at Jake. “But take off your pants.” He gestures to the remaining items of Jake’s clothing. “I want you fully naked.” He squeezes Jake’s ass cheeks with his hands and Jake whimpers.
As Jake starts removing the remaining layers of his clothing, Heeseung starts clearing the items off Jake’s desk. He doesn’t have too much on it. Just his laptop, a mouse, a keyboard, a fake succulent, a pen holder, a notepad, a cork coaster, and a lamp. Heeseung unplugs the lamp last, setting it on the floor under Jake’s desk next to all the other items.
Jake is completely exposed by the time Heeseung finishes. So he walks up to Heeseung, wrapping around the taller from behind. Heeseung leans into the embrace for a few seconds, but then he turns around. Before Jake can say anything, Heeseung is lifting him in a princess carry. Jake giggles as Heeseung moves him toward the desk, setting Jake down across it. He leans down, kissing Jake once on the lips, then on the forehead. He kisses Jake’s collarbone before moving to press his lips against Jake’s stomach. When Heeseung kisses Jake’s hip, Jake squirms; Heeseung laughs into Jake’s skin before continuing his exploration.
“Please,” Jake begs. “I need you in my mouth.”
Heeseung nods, moving away from Jake so he can stand at the end of the desk where Jake’s head is. Jake can hear the rustling of fabric and then Heeseung says, “scooch up a little, baby.” He grabs Jake’s hands guiding them until they are wrapped around the back of Heeseung’s thighs. Jake uses them to pull himself up closer to where Heeseung needs him. Jake’s head leaves the desk so he can perfectly position it under Heeseung’s dick. But Heeseung doesn’t lower himself right away, and Jake can’t help himself from turning his head into Heeseung’s inner thigh, licking the skin there. He feels Heeseung shiver from the contact.
“If you need me to stop, just hit my thigh, okay?” Heeseung asks. Jake nods, still nuzzling his face into Heeseung’s inner thigh.
“You ready?” Heeseung asks and Jake turns his head back so Heeseung can line his dick with Jake’s lips.
“Please.” Jake whispers, breath hitting Heeseung’s exposed length. Heeseung lowers himself and Jake opens his mouth wide, letting Heeseung sink in. Heeseung goes slowly, letting Jake lick around the tip at first. Then, he starts inching himself down Jake’s throat. Jake is proud that he is much better at deepthroating then he used to be when he had been dating Heeseung. He is able to relax his throat more easily, which Heeseung takes advantage of, shoving himself deeper.
As Heeseung goes deeper, Jake feels arousal stir in his gut. He is completely helpless like this, totally at Heeseung’s mercy. And Jake loves it. It’s exactly what he needs. He wants Heeseung to use him. He wants Heeseung to see how much Jake trusts him. So, Jake waits for Heeseung to start moving.
And it doesn’t take long. As soon as Heeseung’s entire length is inside Jake’s mouth, Heeseung pulls back. His thrusts are slow at first, careful not to upset Jake’s gag reflex. But that pace doesn’t last. He speeds up and spit starts accumulating in Jake’s mouth as Heeseung abuses his throat. He can hear the sound of his drool sloshing around as Heeseung plows into him. “f*ck, Jake.” Heeseung groans. “f*ck, you’re taking me so well, angel.”
Jake squeezes Heeseung’s thighs, gurgling as Heeseung continues to use his throat. Heeseung moans at the sound, increasing the speed of his thrusts.
The spit gathered in Jake’s mouth becomes too much, and he starts to choke as Heeseung keeps plunging forward. He feels Heeseung start to move back but Jake squeezes his thighs again. He needs Heeseung to keep going. Heeseung lets out a shaky breath. “f*cking beautiful,” Heeseung thrusts a couple more times as Jake’s vision blurs from his tears.
He’s choking and sobbing around Heeseung’s dick and it’s exactly how he pictured it. With every thrust, Heeseung mutters a “god, baby” or a “like that, f*ck” and Jake feels powerful.
When the lack of oxygen becomes too much for Jake, he pats the back of Heeseung’s thigh and Heeseung pulls out quickly, dick hovering just above Jake’s lips. Jake pants heavily, trying to catch his breath. Heeseung reaches down, wiping Jake’s sweat-stuck bangs off his forehead. “So pretty.” Heeseung murmurs and Jake’s eyes flutter.
After another minute, Jake’s breathing returns to normal, and he digs his fingers into Heeseung’s thighs, whispering, “more.”
Heeseung groans. “Baby, if I put my dick back in your mouth, I probably have like three more thrusts before I come.”
Jake moans at the thought of Heeseung coming. “Do it.” Jake says. “But.” Jake pauses. He blinks up at Heeseung, smiling wickedly. “Come on my face.”
Heeseung groans again. “You’re trying to f*cking kill me.” But his dick twitches as he talks, so Jake knows he’s into the idea.
“Please, Hee.” Jake begs. “More.”
Heeseung lets out a rattling exhale and then he shoves himself back down Jake’s throat. This time he doesn’t start slow. He thrusts in and out roughly, working himself back to his previous rhythm quickly. Jake feels his spit starting to accumulate again. “Your mouth.” Heeseung grits. “f*ck, your mouth.”
Jake gurgles, pleased at how much he is affecting Heeseung. Heeseung lets out a “seriously, f*ck” and shoves his dick up against Jake’s the back of Jake’s throat. Immediately, Jake starts choking on his spit again and the noise must do it for Heeseung because he pulls out quickly, stroking himself twice before he’s coming all over Jake’s face. “Holy f*ck,” Heeseung cries out. “f*ck.” Jake moans as Heeseung’s fluids mix with the spit and tears on his face.
As soon as he’s done coming, Heeseung inches closer to the desk, encouraging Jake to move so his head is no longer stretched off the edge. Jake follows his lead, scooching further down on the desk. As soon as his head is resting on the hard surface, Jake sighs with relief—he can relax a little now that he doesn’t have hold himself up.
To his surprise, Heeseung drops forward, kissing Jake’s messy forehead. Jake whimpers—his dick is completely hard. The idea that he was good for Heeseung. That he made Heeseung come. It sends shocks of heat throughout his body.
Heeseung moves around the desk, pulling Jake up so Jake is in a sitting position. Then, he wraps his arms around Jake’s waist, nuzzling himself in the crook of Jake’s neck. “I don’t have words.” Heeseung whispers. “You’re so wonderful.” He says, kissing Jake’s shoulder. “So beautiful.” Another kiss. “I’m so lucky.”
Jake smiles dopily, then he pulls back a little, remembering the mess on his face. He wipes his hands over his face, trying to gather most of the cum. Once his hands are covered in fluids, he starts licking them. Heeseung groans and Jake giggles as he sucks on each of his fingers.
“You’re also a demon,” Heeseung says.
Jake nods, absently, still focused on getting the cum from his face. Heeseung chuckles and dives in pressing his tongue to Jake’s chin. The tongue ring tickles and Jake shivers as Heeseung starts swiping it across the expanse of Jake’s neck. “I get to prepare you now, right?” Heeseung asks, tilting his head toward the window.
Before Jake can answer, Heeseung is lifting him off the desk and Jake flails a little at the sudden movement—he wraps his arms around Heeseung’s neck and his legs around Heeseung’s hips for stability.
Jake can admit he likes being manhandled like this. Loves it actually. And Heeseung knows that. Has always known Jake’s thing for their size difference. He picked up on it the first time they met. Heeseung was able to cover Jake’s entire body as he “taught” him how to hold the pool stick. Jake had been winning—he really didn’t need the help—but he didn’t turn down Heeseung’s obvious flirting. He let Heeseung lean over him, relishing how much taller the older man was.
Jake kisses Heeseung hard on the mouth and Heeseung carries Jake toward the window. He doesn’t set Jake down at first. He just holds Jake, squeezing his ass cheeks, as they continue to make out. Jake whimpers when Heeseung brushes a finger across his taint and Heeseung chuckles against Jake’s lips. “Ready to be put down?” Heeseung asks, nipping at Jake’s bottom lip.
Jake nods, untangling his legs from Heeseung’s waist. “Lube is in the nightstand.” Jake points to the nightstand next to Jake’s bed. Heeseung nods, turning Jake’s body around so he can face the window. “I don’t need it just yet.” Heeseung says wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist as they look at their reflection.
Jake looks over Heeseung’s naked body, hungrily. He’s familiar with Heeseung’s arm tattoos and the antlers on his calf, but Jake notices he has a new tattoo on the side of His upper left thigh. Jake hadn’t really been paying attention with his head tilted back earlier, but now he can see it says something. It actually looks like numbers, but it’s a bit hard to read in the window’s reflection. Jake looks down. “What does it say?” Jake asks.
Heeseung follows the direction of his gaze and then smiles. “It’s the date we met.”
Jake sucks in a breath. “f*ck.”
Heeseung shrugs. “Even if we never got back together…that day changed my life.”
Jake feels tears sting behind his eyes. “Mine, too.” He whispers.
Heeseung coos, kissing Jake’s shoulder. “Let me worship you.” He rubs his hands against Jake’s sides. “Show you how amazing I think you are.” Jake watches Heeseung in the window as he drops to his knees. “Show you how much I love you.” He kisses the back of Jake’s thigh. “How much I need you.” He kisses the other thigh.
Jake whimpers, nodding eagerly.
“You can place your hands in front of you, but you need to watch, okay?” Heeseung asks, raising an eyebrow. “No resting your forehead on the glass.”
Jake nods again.
Heeseung kisses the upper part of Jake’s tailbone. Then, Jake’s ass cheek. His inner thigh. He presses his lips to every inch of skin that he can reach, except the one place that Jake needs him most. Jake whines, stomping his foot in frustration. “Hee, please.”
Heeseung shushes him. “You said I could edge you baby.” Heeseung warns. “You promised.”
Jake shivers and Heeseung goes back to soft kisses. Jake can feel his own dick straining, but he knows he can’t touch it. So he takes a shaky breath and tries not to shove his ass into Heeseung’s face. Just when Jake thinks he is out of patience, he feels Heeseung spread his ass cheeks apart. Jake nearly cries from relief when Heeseung’s tongue presses against Jake’s hole.
“Please,” Jake begs. “Please, Heeseung.”
Heeseung snickers, but he doesn’t keep Jake in suspense—he breaches Jake’s hole with his tongue and Jake’s legs wobble at the sensation. He inserts one finger along with his tongue, trying to stretch Jake, and Jake hisses at the burn. Heeseung rubs Jake’s side gently with his free hand, trying to distract him from any pain.
As Jake loosens up, Heeseung is able to dig his tongue deeper—the tongue ring brushing up against Jake’s inner walls. Jake whimpers, alternating between “ah, Heeseung” and “almost, there, yes.” Heeseung moves his finger back in next to his tongue, and Jake feels like he is on fire. Then, Heeseung’s tongue ring pushes up against Jake’s prostate and Jake yells. It’s loud. Really loud. But he can’t worry about that now. Not when Heeseung feels so good.
Just as Jake is about to rest his head against the glass, Heeseung pulls his tongue out and asks, “are you watching yourself?” He points at the window.
Jake gulps, nodding once. Heeseung raises an eyebrow, and Jake bites his lip. Heeseung gives Jake’s ass a little slap and then he dives back in—tongue exploring Jake once again.
Jake watches his own lips fall open from the feeling. He watches as each press of Heeseung’s tongue ring to his prostate causes Jake to nearly buckle over. And Heeseung doesn’t let up. He keeps thrusting his tongue in and out as Jake’s whole body starts shaking.
Jake’s dick is leaking pre-cum and he desperately wants to reach down—he probably would only need to stroke himself two or three times. But then Heeseung starts to massage Jake’s prostate with his tongue and Jake feels the tell tale rise of his org*sm anyway. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t touched his dick. Heeseung’s tongue is driving him crazy. He’s hit with the fluttering sensation he gets just before he’s about to come, and he starts to say, “Hee, I’m-“ when Heeseung pulls out abruptly.
Jake cries out at the loss and starts shaking his head. “No, please,” he begs, his eyes pooling with tears, as Heeseung stands up. “Please, I’m right there.”
Heeseung’s lips quiver as he presses a soft kiss to Jake’s shoulder. “I’m just going to get the lube.” He says, innocently. Then he walks over to where Jake directed him earlier.
Jake whines, unable to help the tears that fall down cheeks. “Oh, god, you’re evil.” He says without any real heat. He feels jittery, keyed up from having his org*sm ripped away from him like that. “f*ck.” Jake presses his forehead against the glass, trying to calm himself down. He takes a few rattling breaths. It’s been so long he’s been with someone he trusts enough to do this with. Usually, he tells guys he isn’t into edging. Which isn’t strictly true. He is into it. With Heeseung. But only with Heeseung.
Heeseung laughs as he opens the nightstand, pulling out the bottle of lube. He walks back over to Jake, wrapping his free hand around Jake’s neck loosely. “You, okay?” He whispers. Jake nods, lifting his head back off the glass. Heeseung presses a kiss to Jake’s cheek and Jake sighs happily.
“You make such pretty sounds when I’m rimming you.” Heeseung murmurs. “So responsive.” He bites at Jake’s ear, and Jake squeals, surprised by the action. “So sensitive.” Heeseung chuckles.
Jake pouts, looking at his own reflection in the window. His hair is drenched with sweat. His face is pink with exertion. His eyes are red from all tears he has shed—both during the blowj*b and from Heeseung’s edging. His skin is littered with marks from Heeseung’s ministrations. And the whole room smells like sex.
Heeseung watches as Jake inspects himself, saying nothing, just observing. Jake lifts an eyebrow, lip quirking up to the side. “I look like you’ve had your way with me seven times over.”
Heeseung laughs at that and then brushes some of Jake’s hair behind his ear. “I mean I kind of have,” Heeseung says. “But I’m still not done with you.” He pinches Jake’s side and Jake yelps. Heeseung smiles and steps back, popping open the cap for the lube.
He squirts a generous amount on his fingers and then throws it on the bed behind him.
He moves back behind Jake, and with little fanfare, he drops to his knees. Heeseung inserts the first finger quickly and Jake sighs loudly. It’s not enough. Not after Heeseung spent so long with his tongue in Jake’s ass. Heeseung chuckles inserting a second finger soon after. There still isn’t much of a stretch, but at least the angle is better with two. Heeseung bends his fingers so they are hitting just next to where Jake wants them.
“Ah,” Jake moans. “f*ck.” Heeseung kisses Jake’s ass cheek, continuing to thrust both fingers in and out. “So, good.” Jake whines. “You feel so good.”
This time when Heeseung shoves his fingers in, he hits Jake’s prostate and Jake shrieks with pleasure. It’s not particularly dignified—it would probably be embarrassing with someone else—but he’s too far gone to care at this point. He expects Heeseung’s fingers to pull out but instead, he starts moving his finger pads in small circles, massaging Jake’s prostate.
Jake curses. He’s trembling again as Heeseung’s fingers continue to torture him. Heeseung keeps moving his fingers back and forth, varying the amount of pressure he applies to the sensitive spot. Jake whines, squirming from how good it feels. He looks at himself in the window, trying to distract himself, but it doesn’t do any good. He sees how affected he is. How thoroughly f*cked out he looks.
Heeseung keeps going, and Jake is unable to handle the direct onslaught—he feels the telltale flutter again and Heeseung says, “come on, baby.” Jake sighs with relief; Heeseung will let him have this one.
But just as Jake is about to let go, Heeseung pulls out, standing up quickly. Jake wails, legs giving out from under him, but Heeseung manages to catch him so he doesn’t fall. Jake feels more tears form, and Heeseung shushes him. “I promise, I’ll let you next time.” Heeseung says, gently. “Let’s get on you on the bed, okay?”
Jake feels untethered and floaty as Heeseung carries him to the bed. He can hear himself crying but he can’t seem to stop it. Heeseung sets him on the bed and holds him tightly, murmuring things like “I’m right here” and “you’re doing so well, angel.” Jake’s tears eventually stop and he nuzzles into Heeseung’s chest. He’s careful to leave some room between their lower halves because he’s pretty sure any touch to his dick would have him coming in less than two seconds.
“Please don’t wear a condom.” Jake says into Heeseung’s chest. “I got tested after I ended the thing with Aaron. I’m clean.”
Heeseung rubs his hand across Jake’s lower back and says, “I haven’t been with anyone since I got tested six months ago.”
Jake pulls back at that. “Really?” He asks, confused.
Heeseung laughs. “I’m down bad for you if you haven’t noticed.” He grabs Jake’s chin so they are looking at each other. “The idea of sleeping with someone else when I’m so in love with you…” Heeseung shakes his head. “Didn’t feel worth it.”
Jake winces. “Are you mad I’ve been sleeping with people?”
Heeseung shakes his head quickly. “No.” He leans in and presses a quick kiss to Jake’s lips. “You’re mine now.” He pats Jake’s ass. “That’s all that matters.”
“f*ck me.” Jake begs. “Please. f*ck me.”
Heeseung laughs. “I need to stretch you a little more.”
Jake trembles at the thought of more edging and Heeseung shakes his head. “I’ll be quick about it.” He holds up a pinky finger. “I won’t touch your prostate, promise.”
Jake relaxes a little. “Okay.” He nods. “But please be quick.” He narrows his eyes. “I need you inside me right now.”
Heeseung smiles wide, nodding as he positions Jake on his back. It’s a good call. Jake thinks his hands and knees would give out the instant he tried to prop himself up. Still, he pulls his knees to his chest, exposing his asshole for Heeseung. Heeseung reaches around for the lube bottle he had discarded earlier and then squirts some more onto his hand.
This time he shoves three fingers into Jake’s ass, stretching them wide as he thrusts in and out. True to his word, he avoids Jake’s prostate. The stretch burns a little, which actually helps Jake. It takes some of the edge off. As the burn starts to subside, Heeseung adds a fourth finger, and Jake hisses. Heeseung pats his side once. It takes a couple of thrusts but Jake starts to relax around all four fingers.
“Good job, angel.” Heeseung praises him. “Taking my fingers so well.”
Jake whines. “Please, f*ck.” Jake gasps for breath. “f*ck me.”
Heeseung releases his fingers at that and then moves Jake’s legs so Heeseung is in between them. He looks down at Jake once and Jake nods. “Inside.” Jake begs.
Heeseung smiles and starts pushing himself into Jake’s entrance. There is a slight burn, but Heeseung’s stretching took most of the pain out of it. Still, Heeseung inches himself inside slowly. But once he bottoms out, Jake feels incredibly full. Deliciously full.
“You’re so tight, Jake.” Heeseung groans. “God, you’re so f*cking tight.”
Jake mewls, needing Heeseung to start moving. Heeseung gets the hint because soon enough he’s pulling out and pushing back in. His thrusts are shallow at first. They are a good start but they aren’t enough. Jake kicks his feet out. “Deeper,” Jake growls at him. “More.”
Heeseung doesn’t let him down. He pushes deep inside Jake, just missing Jake’s prostate. “Yes,” Jake shouts. “More.”
Heeseung nods, thrusting roughly into Jake. When his dick finally connects with Jake’s prostate, Jake screams. He screams as Heeseung keeps hitting him there. Over. And over. And over. Jake doesn’t have words. He can’t do anything but scream. And then he falls off the edge Heeseung has kept him dangling from. His dick starts shooting cum and his whole body shakes with his release.
“Yes, that’s it.” Heeseung encourages him. “Come for me baby.”
Jake’s dick keeps spurting and he is low-key afraid he’s pissing himself with how long his org*sm lasts, but eventually it stops. Jake’s skin feels overheated and his eyes feel heavy, but he manages to slur out the words “use me” to Heeseung.
Heeseung doesn’t need to be told twice, picking up the speed of his thrusts again. Jake can’t keep his eyes open any longer, whimpering every time Heeseung thrusts back in.
“I’m close,” Heeseung grits out.
“Come.” Jake says, tongue heavy. “Come please.”
Heeseung groans, thrusting two more times before he’s coming inside Jake, shooting inside his walls. Jake watches the expression Heeseung makes as he comes. He’s beautiful like this. Gorgeous. And Jake makes grabby hands as soon as he’s done.
Heeseung laughs, flopping forward so he’s laying on top of Jake. Jake wraps his arms around Heeseung’s back, trying to press them as close as humanly possible.
“Holy sh*t.” Heeseung murmurs into Jake’s pec. “Holy f*cking sh*t.”
Jake hums, completely f*cked out, as Heeseung tries to adjust their position. He whimpers when he feels Heeseung’s dick still inside his ass. Still filling him up. Heeseung curses. “sh*t, let me.” He eases himself out of Jake and Jake feels Heeseung’s cum leak onto the sheets.
He whines at the loss. He feels tears sting the back of his eyes, and he’s honestly surprised he has any moisture in his tear ducts left at this point. “Shhh.” Heeseung says, gently. “It’s okay. You did so well, angel.”
Jake blinks through his tears and Heeseung moves them so he is holding Jake. Jake lets his body come down from the floaty space its in, sniffling and mouthing at the skin on Heeseung’s chest. Heeseung just rubs his back as Jake works himself through his emotions.
“I love you so much, you know?” Heeseung asks him. “So much.”
Jake nods, still not able to talk. But he does know. He felt it tonight. Not just in their sex, but in the way he cared for Jake. The way he always cares for Jake.
They are silent for a few more minutes and then Jake finally says, “I love you too.” Jake sighs. “I’m so happy right now to be in your arms.” Heeseung leans down and kisses the top of Jake’s head.
Jake almost falls asleep like that—he would have if Heeseung didn’t nudge him, warning him they sill needed to clean up. Heeseung gets out of the bed and Jake can hear the sound of him in the kitchen. Jake watches as he moves a plastic kitchen chair into the bathroom, presumably to go in the shower.
Jake doesn’t have a bath tub in his apartment, and Heeseung is smart enough to realize Jake is entirely too f*cked to stand. So he lifts Jake from the bed, setting him in the plastic chair. He rubs shampoo into Jake’s hair, massing it into his scalp. It feels so nice that Jake closes his eyes. He lets Heeseung clean his entire body.
He cries when Heeseung says he has to clean Jake’s ass—he’s overly sensitive but Heeseung is extremely gentle, murmuring soft words of encouragement the whole time and they get through it.
Heeseung shuts off the water and steps out of the shower to grab a towel. He wraps Jake up and then carries him back over to the bed, tucking him into the comforter. Jake expects to feel Heeseung’s weight on the bed a second later so when he doesn’t, he opens one eye. Heeseung looks down at him. “Let me just clean myself up now real quick.” Heeseung gestures to his own body. Jake pouts but nods anyway.
He lets his eyes fall shut again but he can hear the running water from the shower when Heeseung turns it on. He can hear Heeseung humming something as he cleans himself. And then he hears the water shut off.
Heeseung heads into the living room, and Jake hears the sound of the deadbolt locking, Then, Heeseung is back, shutting off the lights in Jake’s room before climbing in next to him. As soon as he feels Heeseung’s presence next to him, Jake gives his body permission to fully surrender to sleep. He knocks out within seconds.
He doesn’t wake up to his alarm in the morning. Instead, he hears the sounds of loud banging on the door. “JAKE!” A voice yells. “JAKE! Let me in!” Sunghoon’s voice registers, but not the words. He blinks away the sleep, brain trying to catch up with what’s happening.
He sees Heeseung next to him, drooling on the pillow, and the night comes back to him. He can feel the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he reaches for his phone—Heeseung must have brought it over to the nightstand last night. He opens his messages and laughs as soon as he sees the texts from Sunghoon.
Sunghoon: Oh, f*ck. I left my keys at Jay’s.
Sunghoon: He has work and Sunoo has class.
Sunghoon: Jake, I’m outside.
Sunghoon: Jakeeeeeee
Sunghoon: I tried the credit card trick. Good news, the deadbolt works.
Sunghoon: Jakeeeeeee
Sunghoon: You better be boning Heeseung right now. Otherwise, I’m pissed you’re not answering.
